Maybe I'm a bit cryptic, but it seems that mortality shows up on my mind around Thanksgiving. I remember drinking with friends on Thanksgiving while in High School in memorium of friends and family members that had passed. Despite these types of memories I have always had a real affinity for Thanksgiving, in part, because it is Holiday that has not been heavily attacked by the consumerist movement (though the grocery stores are really trying hard!). A simple concept of gathering around the table with loved ones sharing a meal, its the common human expression that transcends everyone's beliefs and politics, where we put aside the differences and celebrate being together.
For about the last 10 years now, Thanksgiving had been a holiday that also held a lot of traditions. Often it was a road trip holiday, leaving last minute and driving through the night to reach the lighthouse on Lake Michigan to watch the sunrise, followed by breakfast, napping, and dinner at my parents house. The evening would be spent with friends from the 'ole home town, running into high school friends and otherwise. This year, none of these things are happening. I am staying home. Nikki and I are having a quiet and relaxing day together with a traditional dinner at home.
I am really looking forward to this weekend. In some ways it is the final step in letting go of my past. For the first few years out of college I spent a lot of time home, maybe because I was scared, or not happy, or just plain not wanting to let go of the past good times of high school and college. Over the last few years, however, I have begun to let go of those times and let them define my early chapters of life and not the whole book. During these years I made some difficult decisions, made some exciting discoveries, and have entered my third decade of life on a real path of "adulthood" and responsibility. I am happy with who I am and with my life. I am in a fantastic relationship with the woman I intend to spend the rest of my life with and marry, I have a great job that is challenging and has the potential for a great career path ahead of me. That's not to say I don't have a lot of goals and lists of accomplishments to gain; there is always going to be a lot of work ahead.
But this Thanksgiving I am going to reflect on what I am really thankful for, and let those things be the inspiration for where to better direct my energies in the coming years.
So how is death on my mind? Well I learned this week that a friend from High School has passed this week unexpectedly, and that Dad's health is deteriorating pretty badly (Mom thinks his time here is not going to be long). Whether or not we know when the end is coming, we do know that it is still coming. How we spend that time is the question we need to face. But rather than focus on what we don't have, why not take a focus on what we do have, no matter how little that may be, and how to build off of those things. Placing a greater value on enriching the lives around us will give us a greater sense of purpose and direction. In turn, we will end up having so much more to be thankful for. We need to do the same with ourselves. Instead of focusing on what we don't have, let's build off our strengths first, and from there identify how we can improve. Positives in our lives, no matter how small, will always have the ability to spark action and change. Negatives always slow us, and limit us.
So this Thanksgiving I am going to reflect on what I am really thankful for, and let those things be the inspiration for where to better direct my energies in the coming years.
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